REVIEW — “Left Behind”

It doesn’t matter what your religious background is, having to sit through this film is proof Hell exists.

Literally based on the first 25 pages of the 500 page Christian novel by the same name, the plot is light to say the least.  The Rapture occurs, people disappear, the remaining people selfishly wish the righteous had not been taken, and sinners unite to try to make the best of the situation.  While the media team is pushing this film as a “Christian Action-Thriller” that is appealing to all people, this movie could not be more heavy handed.  To put things in perspective, the writer & director have made the following statements in a recent press conference: “The Source Material for this movie, is the Bible,” and “You are watching a true story, you’re just getting to see it in advance!”  The film both opens and closes with a scripture, and we’re barely in three minutes before a random character starts spewing bible quotes.  This is Bible-thumping at it’s hardest.  Unfortunately, instead of creating a resounding angelic beat, their earnest thumping lands with a hollow thud.  This pitiful attempt to create a Christian film is so atrociously bad it borderlines on blasphemy.

This film is so bad, it’s impossible to come up with a SINGLE good thing to say about it! NOTHING rings true in the movie.  The characters are almost offensively shallow, the menagerie of plane passengers being the worst, each a bizarre stereotype.  The characters and dialogue seems to have been written by people who live within a bubble.  It’s apparent they are struggling to create accurate portrayals of “sinners” through their own narrow viewpoint.  It’s like asking a virgin to write and direct a sex scene, it just screams ignorance.  The ONLY moments of truthful dialogue are when non-believers make some really good points about why they have a lack in faith in God.  Ironically, none of these good points are ever actually addressed!  The point the movie seems to be making is that Faith is simply the absence of Logic.

The cast is made up of low-rent look alikes of the actors they wish they could have secured.  The core group is comprised of a Low-Rent Chis Evans (Chad Michael Murray), a Low-Rent Cameron Diaz (Nicky Whelan), a Low-Rent Kristen Bell (Cassi Thomson), and a Low-Rent Nic Cage…. Oh wait! That really IS Nicolas Cage.  It saddens us to say it, but this is Nic Cage’s WORST performance EVER.  How far this former Oscar winner has fallen.  Looking tired and bored, his ultimate emotional climax doesn’t appear to be anything more than a bad case of allergies.  His character, Captain Steele (yes, you read that right,)  is painfully boring, an unforgivable sin when it comes to this actor.   Say what you will about such gems as “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”  Nic Cage is anything but boring.

The Anti-Christ may be at work here, for instead of drawing people to the bible it’s more likely to send them running for the hills.  Avoid this movie at all costs, “This is the End” has more to say about being a good person than this piece of cinematic persecution. In a bit of irony, the scariest line of the movie is also the final one, “This Is Just the Beginning…”
Please Lord, I beg of you, no!

NOTE: The film has been rated PG-13, but in reality it’s closer to a “Hard G.”  There is no blood, nudity, or swearing.

ZERO out of 5 Stars

By the way, if you are interested in the Official Left Behind Ministry Resources kit, you can purchase it HERE!